this past week has been brutal. the main x-factor this week has been the favour i've been doing for my former employer, allstream. i owe so much to allstream for all that they've given me in terms of opportunity to grow and develop professionally, and for the freedom and accommodation that they've given to me as i've "developed" personally. if it weren't for allstream, there's no way that i would have the kind of career or life that i have now. if it weren't for allstream, i wouldn't be living in this fabulous city making fabulous friends and having fabulous adventures (which are now almost two weeks overdue!! - i've GOTs to get cracking). of course, if it weren't for allstream, i probably wouldn't have had that breakdown in 2001 and i might not even be divorced. but for better or worse, allstream has been a huge influence in my life and i've been happy to help them. unfortunately, a few hours of work has turned into a few days and a few days of evenings and weekends is a big chunk out of anyone's spare time. my day job is plenty stressful as my project enters quality assurance and bug-fixing phase (typically the most stressful time)... but i'm managing to hold it together.

a bigger problem even than the work stress has been the stress i intentionally inflict on myself in my training. i'm so foolish when it comes to training properly. apparently (and i do know this) there are "proper" ways to train - running an average of 5.5 - 6km/day and then suddenly tripling your distance for a long run is not one of those ways. weightlifting like you are preparing for an amateur bodybuilding pose-down is not the proper way to lay down your winter base-training. kicking yourself two and a half hours in the gym leaving yourself no energy for the rest of your day/life is not the proper way to enjoy your fitness workout time. i therefore think that at least for the remainder of the month, i have to take it down a notch or two. i will mix up my workouts to reduce their intensity, not necessarily their duration, and work on toning and fitness, rather than accumulating nice bumpy muscle. we'll see how long that plan lasts, knowing my propensity for discarding anything resembling a plan.

finally, i don't know how i could be happier with my life right now - it is virtually perfect. they say that good things come when you least expect them, or they also say they come when you are ready to receive them. i think that it's a good thing that i spent so much time this autumn thinking about my life and my decisions and what things are important to me and what i would like my life to be like. i think that introspection really has given me more clarity about what it is that i want and like and need. the really overwhelming part of this past week is that i am starting to get it, and that's nothing that i expected to see ever, much less any time soon. sometimes, life can really overwhelm you. it's best when it overwhelms you with something really great.

this weekend, i will return to the adventures.

- g