fear

there are many types of fear – but for the scope of this entry, i will consider only two.  there is the kind of imminent, immediate fear that one finds when one is in mortal danger – when one is told that one has AIDS or cancer, or is in a dark street and a desperate person with a gun threatens your life, or a drunk driver on a rainy night swerves into your lane at 225km/h blinding you and threatens to end your life in a fury of twisted steel, flaming gasoline and kinetic energy sufficient to throw only half of your torso or the body of your infant child hundreds of metres through your windsheld.  then there’s the kind of fear that comes from knowing that your financial system is so completely corrupt and broken that no matter what you do, you, your generation, your children’s generation, and even their children will be royally fucked because YOU stood by and let it happen and didn’t rage against the machine sooner to stop this outcome from happening.

less than a week ago, the heroes of the american public, the president, congress, the fed, and the us treasury all told the world that they needed an unprecedented $700 BILLION dollars of AMERICAN TAXPAYERS MONEY just to STABILIZE the crisis that was the american economy.  who told the american taxpayers that there was $700 billion dollars of discretionary funds that they could reallocate at a moment's notice?  if *i* found $700 billion lying around my apartment, you can sure as fuck believe that i would be bloody doing something useful with it!!!!  i can’t even begin to understand the outrage that must be swelling up in the hearts of americans.  while they pay record prices for gasoline to drive them to jobs that they hate to do but allow them to support their children and families – while they watch their government pour trillions of dollars into a war effort they don’t comprehend or desire – while they read about banks and institutions that reward their leaders with millions and millions of dollars of untouchable rewards for exploiting the average joe – they are faced with the ultimate indignity of being asked to pay for the privilege of being fucked up the ass – financially speaking.  watching their children get fucked up the ass.  watching their children’s children, get fucked up the ass.

…

it sickens me.  utterly.  i am physically repulsed and weakened at the realization of what could happen in this state of affairs.

…

i watched the season premiere of “heroes” over the past couple of nights thinking to myself, “this show is crap – this villain is too powerful.  there can be no evil so great and unstoppable as this.  how can you fashion a show about an impossible evil that cannot possibly be overcome.”  what has shifted me from the second mode of fear that i described above to the first mode of fear is that this is all happening RIGHT NOW.  THIS WEEK, changes will be set in motion that will either reward the villain, or … well… not reward the villain but leave him unscathed.

if america wants  a hero, then it should look to this woman, the representative from ohio, marcy kaptur.  if i were barack obama, or even john mccain, i would get THIS woman to get on my side.  she’s got the right idea.

omg.  how can this have happened?

- g

ps.  oh yeah, i almost forgot, while america is busy bankrupting and overextending itself in pursuit of what... making the world a better place? ... no, PROFIT! ... the rest of the world is looking at america like a fatted calf with its hollywood celebretatzzi and mindless agonizing over who is gay and who isn't... the rest of the world has grown lean and hungry and feral and savage from not having controlled the world all these years and you can be bloody well assured that in that battle-ready sharpness, will pick the very very best time to make a decisive move against the lives that we have complacently grown to love and rely upon.  i'm staring at the headlights, but am fairly powerless to turn the wheel.